Protecting, Sheltering, Parenting...What are we doing?
A note my nine year old gave me. This was a gift!
Recently I wrote a post that went viral in ways that I could never have predicted. For about 10% of the crowd reading and interacting with my post, my words were misunderstood by a small crowd as being too sheltering of a parent (along with what many atheists who called my parenting religious indoctrination, #facepalm).
At what point is sheltering too much or too little? After all isn’t it our job to protect our children from harm, danger and evil? By protecting my children from evil, I am helping to protect their soul. By protecting their soul, I am helping to be the bridge that my children need to get to Heaven.
Religion aside, many of the parenting tactics that I recommended in my parenting post was also just for the safety and well being of my child. For example, my children are only allowed to sleep at their grandparents homes and a few of their godparents’ homes. This isn’t just because we want to shield our children from things of the secular world, but mostly because we are also protecting our children from assaults and abuse.
How is this bad? Are we not called to protect our children?
We choose no electronics in rooms and no personal iPads because of a multitude of reasons. Everything from expense, exposure, addiction and laziness come to mind when I think of these things. I don’t want to shell out the money to buy four kids their own tablets and I don’t agree with televisions in the bedroom. Imagine a twelve year old scrolling through basic cable late at night and he comes across a cartoon and unbeknownst to him, he’s watching a satanic show.
How is this good?
We live in a time where parents are often afraid to parent against the grain; often times going with the flow. I can’t even begin to tell you how many people have laughed or made snarky remarks when I say that we don’t intend to give our child a phone until high school. It’s like this task is unachievable in the eyes of so many parents today. In actuality, I laugh back at their snarkiness and make a mental note to stick to my word just to prove them wrong. #igetsalty
Why do we think that we have to follow the grain? Just because my child begs for a phone or a tv in their room, or begs to head to a sleepover or a block party at a home that I don’t know, why should I feel the need to give in to these requests? While I want to be my child’s friend, I first and foremost want to protect my child. Shielding them from the dangers that can happen in unfamiliar places is parenting. It’s as simple as that. There’s nothing different than shielding then from satanic tv shows, pornography, and drugs. Will they eventually come across these things? I’m sure they will, but by then hopefully I’ll see the fruits of my labor!
Now this isn’t to say that just because you’ve given your ten year old a cell phone or put a big screen in your seven year old’s room that you have failed. Absolutely not! We all parent differently and we all have different reasons for sometimes making the decisions that we make. This ALSO isn’t to say that there isn’t a threshold of when sheltering becomes unhealthy because indeed I do believe there is; children do eventually need to understand the world. At the appropriate ages children can learn about real world issues, dangers and even secular ideologies that are making their way through our society, schools and families. But I don’t have to break the innocence of a YOUNG child’s precious mind just so I can explain something unbiblical or evil because the world “thinks that I should right now.” I am the parent and can judge when the time is right for specific subjects.
Whether you homeschool or traditional school or give media to your children or not, we are all called to parent how it feels right for us. This post and the initial point of my viral post was to encourage you to break free from the crowd when you deem necessary and to be bold in the choices you make as a parent! It is okay to say, “no.” It’s okay to be different and not follow the crowd. It’s okay to not be your child’s friend at some point or another.
Our personal goal is to build our home on the rock and lay down the foundation of our home on God’s word, so that way when our children are exposed to evil and unbiblical things, then they can make decisions about it from a faithful perspective. We can have all of the parental controls and censors we want in life, but it doesn’t mean that the enemy can’t sneak in from somewhere else. The world is constantly changing and the enemy doesn’t hide anymore. And after going viral, I can tell you there are many people waiting to undo our teachings as Christian parents.
It’s only right to protect your children, they are after all the body of Christ. And that is totally worth protecting! Hopefully no matter our different parenting styles and our goals, we will all see the fruit of our labors as Christian parents.
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