I Don't Need My Children to Fit In
Have you ever thought about your children and their future friends? Will they be in the cool crowd, the jocks or the quiet ones? Will they excel at the things you excelled at or will they have other strengths that were your weaknesses? And will your children obey you and live a virtuous life? Will your children fit in with the others around them?
We can answer these questions with our thoughts and even our own hopes, but the truth is that we truly won’t know what our children will be like until that time comes. When we look at the times we’re living in, one thing that seems prevalent is that “society” wants us to fit in and be like minded. We are being called to believe the same, and cancel those that don’t believe the same.
I don’t know about you, but the whole cancel-culture-scared-to-offend-anyone thing really isn’t my jam. Unfortunately it seems that in order to live accurately in society’s eyes, it means that you may have to embrace sin, hold your tongue, close your eyes and leap without trust. It means that you have to just roll with the flow so you can fit in and be politically correct or you’re going to be…cancelled.
As a mother, it seems like so much of what I have done has not been “politically correct.” So much of what I have chosen to do or how I have chosen to raise my children was not exactly the norm. The things that I’m passionate about are not the every day thing that is always normal for many mothers. Yet somehow, what I’m passionate about is trendy with it’s own crowd. The truth of the matter is that in a room full of many mothers, I likely won’t fit in with most of them. And that is perfectly fine because our differences make us so beautiful and unique. It doesn’t have to make us distant, offended or cancelled, not at all.
My hope is that just as I won’t fit in with many, I sometimes hope my children will be the same. Not because I don’t want them to have many friends or be in the “in crowd” but because it often feels as if what is “in” is not actually virtuous. I want my children to fit in with all people, love all people and show empathy to all people, but I want my children to be confident in who they are. I want them to be confident in their faith, their morals, their values and their political ideaologies. I want them to do a better job of standing for God as a teenager than I would have ever had the courage to do. I want them to use the Holy Spirit to guide their ways; not to be guided by what’s “in” at the moment. And I want my children to cling to the part of society that clings to Jesus, no matter how small that group may be. In fact, I hope they’re the leader of that group some day.
The truth is that I hope my children don’t always fit into this modern world, with its modern ways. As the days go by, as the headlines are printed and as the bills are passed, being “in” doesn’t seem worth it any more. I hope they pave their own way to shine their light, stand for the only truth that ever mattered and love all people despite our differences. I hope they squash every bit of cancel culture by simply not being afraid of being cancelled and by not cancelling others along the way.
They don’t have to be popular here, because it really doesn’t matter what others think of us. They just have to be popular there. Don’t be afraid of raising strong children who may not be part of the “in” crowd. Don’t be afraid to homeschool because your children may be a little different, isn’t that the point? Don’t be afraid to send your children to church camp rather than the cool summer camp down the road just because that’s where his friends are going. Let’s involve our children and surround them with the people, places and things that will lift their spirits, encourage their hearts and deepen their faith. Let’s help raise warriors suited in the armor of God and not in the armor of worldly riches and values.
Let’s raise children who may not always fit into society’s standards but who will always fit into the kingdom of Heaven.
And hey, if they choose something different, then we still love them the same. That’s the beauty of the love of Jesus.
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