Why Mothers Can't Balance It All

Photo by Gray Photography

Mamas, listen up.

I have something to share with you and it’s something we all need to hear. Like for reals.

Have you ever thought about the pressure to balance it all? Have you ever thought about how you’re trying to balance motherhood, work, housework, fitness, Jesus and like everything else under the son?

I am right there with you. I try to balance it all too and sometimes feel like I struggle with the balance. Sometimes I feel like when I get a little bit of balance, one thing slips by and I lose grip of it and then I feel like I’ve failed.

No one informed me prior to motherhood just how many hats that I’d wear. Whether you work or not isn’t even a part of it, because the hats of motherhood are enough for a full time job. Chauffeur. Chef. Launderer. Butt wiper. Counselor. Maid. Stylist. AND. SO. MUCH. MORE. That hats of motherhood are endless and often times, we feel like we fall short.

I can’t tell you how many times I have prayed to be able to balance things better. To be able to manage things and have more peace and patience and kindness. To do my absolute best for my children.

And then someone said something one day that was like one of those “AHHHAAAAA” moments. There should NEVER be balance when discussing things vs motherhood or even Jesus Christ. Never. Balance makes things equal. Balancing my workload with motherhood isn’t good, right? My children come first. Balancing laundry and my family isn’t correct. My family comes first!

You guys, balancing things makes them equal. Why would we want our children to be equal to our jobs, our gym time or our housework? I surely don’t want that. My children come first. Jesus comes first. My husband comes first. All of those other hats I wear and “jobs” I have can wait sometimes. I can tip the scales because as it turns out, my family weighs much more than all of those jobs.

We navigate motherhood by trying to just balance it all. We have older generations tell us to enjoy it more and let the laundry wait. I’m the first one to think they are crazy because STUFF HAS TO GET DONE. Am I right?!?! But if we are balancing it all too much, then we’re letting the precious moments slip by. We’re letting what is most important in life become equal to the things that can wait. We’re getting the scales steady but we’re missing the bigger picture.

So join me as we try to stop this habit of balancing it all. Let’s take back motherhood and make the most of it. Let’s uneven the scales and put motherhood (and Jesus) back where they go. Let’s stop the mindframe that working mothers have to balance it all; that boss babes have to balance children and computers all day; and that women have to balance all of the many, many hats they wear.

We are mothers. That’s where the good stuff lies. That’s where the tiny joys are found, the belly laughs come from and the sweetness of life lives. That’s where true happiness can be found. That side of the scale is where all of the things we can’t live without are. So I never plan to balance that unconditional love with the load of laundry sitting in the washer.

My family deserves me and all of me. And so does yours. The next time you feel completely overwhelmed, take a step back and adjust the scales. Lift up the side that matters and make them the focus. The other stuff can wait. Laundry can always be rewashed.

I pray I’ve never balanced my children equal or lesser than to the things that don’t really matter in life. But you know what? I’m human, so I probably have. I’ve failed and I’ll continue to fail again. I know I’ve put Jesus Christ uneven to things as well. I’m broken and that I know. But grace and mercy and His love, gives us the chance to get back up and try again. It gives us the chance to change the scales and make them right. It gives us a new day and a new try.

So here’s to tipping the scales to where they need to be. Here’s to throwing away the hat of balance and remembering what’s most important in life. And yes, here’s to likely rewashing a ton of clothes…