What Moms Really Think While Watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse
1. "Hey kids, wanna come inside my clubhouse?" Gosh, totally sounds like the creeper begging kids to come pet the puppy in his car. I don't think I like it!
2. Donald and Daisy just need to admit they want each other and get it over with. Serious sexual tension there.
3. What the hell is Toodles? Is he a person? Is it a he? I mean, they just recently added a face to him, talk about mind blown.
4. Are Mickey and Minnie brother and sister or secret lovers? I mean, what are the chances that two mice would be named Mickey and Minnie unless they were siblings. Do mice practice incest?
5. (M) for Mickey and (M) for Mouse. Same things goes for Minnie. They were even smart enough to do (D) for Donald (D for Duck) and same thing for Daisy. That totally just made sense.
6. Is Pete a dog? Or a cat? I mean, he talks about cat naps and loves milk and is fat like most cats, but seriously...he's bigger than Goofy! That just doesn't seem right.
7. Exactly what breed of dog is Goofy because he looks weird as shit?
8. How is there a beach, mountains with snow, a desert and a forest all within close proximity? Maybe Mickey really does live in California.
9. So Mickey wears pants but Donald doesn't have to? But wait, Donald wears swum trunks to the beach? Am I missing something?
10. Clarabelle is a cow. Seriously, how does a cow fit in with a cat, dog, ducks and mice. Why couldn't Clarabelle have been a skunk or something?
11. Minnie has two little nieces on some episodes, but I want to know where the heck are Huey, Louie and Dewey. I mean, where did these little squeaky ass mice come from?
12. Are the professor and Scrooge not the same damn duck? They are really tripping up our generation.
13. How and the hell does Toodles ALWAYS have the right tools to help. I mean, life really isn't always that fair. I wish I had a freaking Toodles to call.
14. Those little handy helpers around the clubhouse are freaking genius. I need someone to invent hands that pop out of my ceiling and wash my dishes.
15. I've seen this freaking episode ten times...come on Disney, you have to do better than that.
16. And that one episode where they run around shaking peanuts and singing "Shake Shake Shake your peanut." I mean, helllllooooo, that's the catchiest and possibly dirtiest song ever!
17. And why exactly is it a hot dog dance? I'm DYING to know this!!!
18. I should really thank Mickey for entertaining my kid and teaching her the occasional lesson. I actually kinda love the little dude.
19. Son of a biscuit eaters, I'm so over watching Mickey! Please kid, choose Sofia or Doc for once.
20. And lastly, what the hell is wrong with Mickey's ears when his head moves? You know you wonder every time too!