When Two People Have to Raise a Baby
We can fantasize about the day that our significant other becomes a parent; a parent to our child that together we bring into this world. We can daydream about family vacations, Christmas mornings and birthday parties and plan each one of those events out to be a perfect, Pinterest worthy creation in our mind. Mama and Daddy laugh and look lovingly as baby opens their first birthday present. Daddy then scoops up baby in his arms and smothers her with kisses, all while never letting go of Mama's hand.
And they all live happily ever after.
Having a child adds a new twist to any relationship. Suddenly you're not just worried about paying bills and cooking dinner, but you're also worried about keep a little human being alive. A little human being who has suddenly made every other thing in life so much less important, and who now takes precedence over any fun night out on the town. Life goes from wine and fine food to whining and throwing up food in nine quick months.
Even though we can fantasize about it all, we never really know just how two people are going to come together to raise a child. Being a parent isn't easy, and it does NOT come with the perfect little "How To" guide that is written in a way that we can actually all understand. There are so many things that go along with raising a child TOGETHER, that no parenting book really touches on.
How about the idea of smash cakes at birthday parties or the idea of letting your infant sip on a Coke? Then there is the decision of leaving your child with one grandparent over the other or just the idea of leaving your child at all. There's no chapter in any parenting book (that I've found) on how to decide together on your child's diet and snack habits and there is no chapter on how to decide together on when to stop breastfeeding.
And this is just the beginning. Eventually, you'll be working together on deciding the right school for your child, the right extracurricular activities that your wallet dreads, and even the proper time for them to be dropped off at a movie theater by themselves with friends. Daddy thinks high school is a good time for a cell phone and mama thinks that cell phones only come along when cars come along. Hellooo sweet sixteen, it's going to be a good one.
Raising a baby is work; hard work that takes a village. Okay, so really I suppose it doesn't take a village, and considering all of the single parents out there, it really doesn't even have to take two people. But if you're one of the lucky ones with a significant other standing there by your side, you have the privilege of helping hands and a second opinion. You have the honor of having a house full of more love than you could have ever imagined.
You have a chance at a really wonderful happy ever after.
With that being said, I've been blessed beyond measure. Although we're nowhere near deciding on schools or movie dates, we together as parents are a team. Perhaps it's just pure luck that we think the same way. Y'all know I'm not really a smash cake kind of girl for baby's first birthday; neither is my husband. I make baby's food most of the time and give her healthy options, yet the one time I consider to give her a potato chip and daddy isn't happy. My husband was 100% on board with breastfeeding and although I'm approaching that point where he thinks I should possibly begin to wean, he knows that I'll wean at the right time for her and I. And baby has yet to spend a night away from home, and that's not just because of me. That's team work. That's two minds on the same page.
I got very lucky in this game of life. I found a mate who is so much like me when it comes to raising our child, that it's a little creepy. Perhaps my crazy ideas have just rubbed off on him. Or, perhaps we're just both a little weird. Either way, my fantasies and daydreams are slowly coming true each and every day. I know one day we'll disagree on when is the proper time to give our child a cell phone or we'll disagree because mama spent way too much money on a prom dress, but we as a team will make it work. I'm positive of this. It takes team work. It takes two best friends who are madly in love raising a child. A child that their love created.
At the rate we're going, I think it is going to be a very, very happy ever after.
I have LOVED seeing my husband, the man I have known for ten years, become a father.
He amazes me at how good he is at it- and although he still doesn't remember where baby's
bowls and sippy cups are at in the kitchen, he's got this daddy thing down. Together, I think
we're doing a pretty good job. I hope to populate the world with more of his beautiful babies.
Do you find that raising a child takes a lot of team work
and/or do you find it difficult to agree?
Thanks for reading, Sasha