A Mother's Chit Chat With God

Hey God, I think we need to have a little chit chat.

You know, a little pow wow. I have a couple of things that I need to get off of my chest. 

First off, like seriously dude, can I ever thank you enough for my children? I mean you really knew what you were doing when it came to the whole “man and woman becomes one and makes a baby” thing. Have you seen my children? They're pretty darn beautiful and so sweet I think I may eat them up. Anyway, you've blessed me big time. You've shown me a love that I could have never imagined in my wildest dreams. You've warmed my heart into one million fuzzy pieces just by gracing my life with these children's presence. It’s like I need their love to survive now. That’s huge. I really don’t know how to thank you.

I’m just praying Lord to remember to always thank you.

As if you don’t already have enough on your plate and as if you didn't already do enough for me, I kinda have a couple of requests for you. You see, you've blessed me beyond measure and have given me this amazing miracle and well, I really need you to have those Angels working overtime a bit to protect these miracles. Okay, so I guess that isn't fair. I can’t hog up all of the Angels when everyone else’s miracles need protecting too, right? I just have to believe that you have it all worked out up there.

I’m just praying Lord for faith.

For instance, every time I get in my car I’m really hoping that there is an Angel buckled up in there too. I mean, do you happen to catch the six o’ clock news? There are some crazies out there on the roads. And man, have you ever installed a car seat? You can have a whole village install it and you’ll still be nervous that something isn't right.

I’m just praying for safety in the car each and every time Lord.

And man, talk about a scary thing when you leave your child in someone else’s care. Sure you trust the person to no end, but it’s not me. I sure hope you remembered to stick an Angel in the overnight diaper bag for me. That reminds me, I need to clean out the diaper bag. 

I’m just praying Lord for comfort, ease and safety when my child is in other’s care.

Let’s not even get on the topic about sleeping peacefully at night and during the day. I mean, I’m not praying for a full night of sleep here (although feel free to throw that one in there), but I am praying for a safe night of sleep. Lord I’ll be honest; it’s scary sometimes when you put your baby down to sleep. You can have the best monitor in the world and follow all safety recommendations but you still have that “what if” fear (and you also kind of worry about the creeps that randomly break into houses these days – what’s that about anyways?).

I’m just praying for safe sleep each and every night Lord. Oh and I also pray for no creeps.

And then Lord, there are moments where I doubt my ability to protect my children from each and every harm. From every piece of furniture they can climb; from every outlet they could stick a fork in; and from every other dang hazard they could mysteriously come up with (have you met my middle child ?).

I’m just praying Lord for knowledge, confidence and patience as a parent.

Lord I also sometimes even doubt my ability as a mother in general. Sometimes my patience is on thin, I'm sleep deprived and I feel like I am failing in every direction I take. I don't know what to do - vaccinate or not? Co sleep or not? Move baby to his crib or  not? And I feel like I will never have the right answers. 

I'm just praying Lord that you give me the ability to find grace within myself and wisdom along the way.  

 I know a lot of awesome women out there who long to have what I have. They long to have the love of a child to call their own. And I’m going to be honest with ya, they really deserve it. Don’t worry though - I fully trust your plans, I just couldn't leave them out.

I’m just praying Lord for other women to experience the love, joy and miracle of motherhood.

Finally Lord, I pray for the families out there who have been given the gift of a child, but whose child is now wrapped up in your arms up there in Heaven. Oh man, my heart aches and hurts for these people. I can't even imagine. I know you have things covered and all, but we still ache and hurt for these families.

I'm just praying Lord for comfort and peace for those who lose their loved ones and children.

Okay, so I may have one more request. And it’s simple really. I just pray Lord for a long, healthy life for my children. I pray that I, along with their father, can see them grow up into Godly, compassionate people who do great things in this world. I pray Lord that they know our love and feel our love endlessly and infinitely no matter what.

I’m just praying Lord. 

I appreciate you listening more than you know and I love our pow wows. Isn’t it funny how much they changed since you made me a mother? I bet you’re thinking, “dang this girl is full of stuff to tell me.”

I really am. Good thing you’re a good listener (maybe you can work on that with baby daddy over there, just picking you gave me a good one). 

But you know what? If I told you every second, of every day just how grateful I was for my blessings; for my children and for my family, it still wouldn't be enough.

But I’m going to try.

I really am.