A Mother's Heart

My heart is no longer just mine. I became a mother and now my heart is shared. My heart provided the life that my child needed inside of me. My heart had to keep beating in order for hers to. My body was her safe haven and her place to grow and I provided her with the support she needed.

It's funny how motherhood works. No one prepares you for the truth after you have a baby. There are no books that can describe it and no blog post, even mine, that can come close to it. Motherhood is one of those things in life that are simply indescribable. Perhaps it is left best that way.

What no one tells you that your heart is now in your child. No one ever said that my heart would skip a beat at her smile, her touch and that it would flutter at her laughs. I was never told that my heart would yearn to know that she was always okay, safe and secure. Or yearn to know that my child was thriving healthy in a world that's big and polluted.

I didn't know that every time you see your child your heart would pretty much melt into mush. That each time you bathe them and see them splashing around that your heart is wet from the splashes because the splashes reach so deeply within you. And that the giggles that follow the splashes make the soaked floors okay.

You're not prepared for the cuddles that wrap your heart up so tightly that you can hardly breathe. It's a moment where time stands still and you hold your breath as you take in the moment, the scents and the warmth. Those cuddles, snuggles and whatever else you want to call it are the moments that a mother cherishes the most. Those are the moments where a mother can hug her heart tightly and know that it's thriving safely and soundly.

No one tells you how you'll worry about your heart. How you'll shed a tear when your heart bumps their head and how you'll hold your breath as they learn to pull up. No one informs you about the aches you'll feel when your heart doesn't feel well or even the exhaustion from a heart that doesn't sleep.

A mother's heart is wrapped up in her child. It's thriving within her children. A mother's heart lives within that little soul that grew inside of her. That little bean that blossomed into a beautiful child with a smile that is sure to melt many hearts in the future (oh boy).

What no one really tells you is how much you need your heart. When your child was a part of you, they needed your heart to beat for theirs to beat. Now that your child is in your arms; pulling up like a champ; and splashing until you're soaked to the bone, they are still a part of you but in a different way. They still depend on you to be their safe haven, their life support and their comfort.

But no one tells you how some things change.

A mother's heart is her child.

And now, now her child's heart must beat for her own heart to keep beating.