10 Funny Truths to Life as a Breastfeeding Mama (Part II)
1. You've never been so happy and yet so very scared to see a tiny tooth pop out. So very, very scared.
2. That moment when you're in public and you are too afraid to look down to make sure you're not leaking. So you casually look down and adjust your shirt when really you're looking for two dark, wet spots that are sure to make all the guys stare (in confusion might I add).
3. You started off with the biggest most voluptuous breast ever, only to wake up one morning to deflated, saggy bags that magically still contain the same amount of milk. Oh why, oh why couldn't you have stayed a tad bit more voluptuous?
4. That moment when your baby starts pulling down your shirt, opening her mouth wide and trying to feed herself is the exact moment that you sense a neon sign above your head that reads "Buffet Open 24 freaking 7."
5. You can carry a boppy pillow and a 17lb baby all with one hand while she successfully sucks the life out of you and you successfully reach for your cell phone that was across the room. Boom.
6. Putting a dress on with a baby that doesn't always take a bottle is asking for trouble. Do you want to see my hike my dress up and stick a baby under there? Didn't think so. You know you're a nursing mama when everything you now buy has buttons.
7. What's Victoria's Secret?
8. Some days you wonder how there can be anything left in there. Between nursing, pumping and the occasional bite, you wonder how in the freaking world you still have boobs at the end of the day.
9. That moment that your husband decides to give your boob a little "honk, honk" not knowing that they were full and had a sore nipple is the same day that you envisioned setting fireworks off in his pants.
10. And finally, I'll say it again. What the hell is Victoria's Secret?
But, guess what? It is all worth it. So very, very worth it.
2. That moment when you're in public and you are too afraid to look down to make sure you're not leaking. So you casually look down and adjust your shirt when really you're looking for two dark, wet spots that are sure to make all the guys stare (in confusion might I add).
3. You started off with the biggest most voluptuous breast ever, only to wake up one morning to deflated, saggy bags that magically still contain the same amount of milk. Oh why, oh why couldn't you have stayed a tad bit more voluptuous?
4. That moment when your baby starts pulling down your shirt, opening her mouth wide and trying to feed herself is the exact moment that you sense a neon sign above your head that reads "Buffet Open 24 freaking 7."
5. You can carry a boppy pillow and a 17lb baby all with one hand while she successfully sucks the life out of you and you successfully reach for your cell phone that was across the room. Boom.
6. Putting a dress on with a baby that doesn't always take a bottle is asking for trouble. Do you want to see my hike my dress up and stick a baby under there? Didn't think so. You know you're a nursing mama when everything you now buy has buttons.
7. What's Victoria's Secret?
8. Some days you wonder how there can be anything left in there. Between nursing, pumping and the occasional bite, you wonder how in the freaking world you still have boobs at the end of the day.
9. That moment that your husband decides to give your boob a little "honk, honk" not knowing that they were full and had a sore nipple is the same day that you envisioned setting fireworks off in his pants.
10. And finally, I'll say it again. What the hell is Victoria's Secret?
But, guess what? It is all worth it. So very, very worth it.
And make sure to check out my original
Thanks for reading, Sasha