10 Not So Funny Truths to the Mommy Wars
- A new mama is subject to much unsolicited parenting advice. It comes after various times when you're not expecting it and often goes wildly against your beliefs.
- Some mamas think that since their way worked (aka: their kids are still alive) that they must indeed be child rearing experts. You do you boo.
- In some cases the one who breastfed for a long time doesn't always get a pat on the back - instead she gets whispered about for being weird. The breast and formula battle needs to just chill.
- Speaking of weird, you must be weird if you cloth diaper. Those aren't real diapers.
- Gerber worked just fine for my baby, so why must you make your own baby food? (Or in reverse) I can't believe you gave your baby jarred baby food! GASP!
- I chose to vaccinate my child and if you don't you're just plain nuts. Again, vice versa. Can we all just agree to let other mothers make their own informed decisions. I may not always agree, but if you research and come to a conclusion, then bravo to you for researching.
- While you're going dairy free for your baby, I'm over here drinking a glass of wine thinking you're out of your mind.
- The mama whose baby sleeps in their crib first must be doing something right. And of course the mama who has a baby who sleeps through the night at only six weeks must indeed just have life figured out.
- You're so paranoid for not letting your child play with your car keys and credit cards. I mean, they have to get germs from somewhere. #eyeroll
- Oh you stay at home all day? Well, I have a real job and actually do stuff all day. This war and battle is never-ending as well. Can we all agree that being a mother is just hard period - no matter if you work at home, work away or work from home. We all wear capes in some way or another.
New mamas are subject to much advice that they didn't always ask for from everyone who thinks that they are baby experts. People are subject to criticize, whisper and judge especially when others don't do things the way that they did.
I'm a cloth diapering, breastfeeding, babywearing, SAHM and I'm proud of it. I'm anxious to make baby food and my baby still sleeps next to me. However nothing I do makes me a better mama. The mommy wars are all about trying to outdo one another and yet I can't understand why. We're all just trying to do what is best for our children. Just because someone does things differently doesn't mean that they are doing it the wrong way.
I find that people are quick to say that breastfeeding mamas judge formula feeding mamas and so on. While that may be true for some people, I also find that the judgement can be reversed. People who didn't breastfeed or who think it's a waste of time to make baby food are quick to judge those that do. You can sometimes feel the awkwardness of "oh you're still breastfeeding?"
I can't tell you how many awkward smiles I get just for wearing my baby to the store. It's so notnormal around here. Some mamas think you're weird, some think you're too attached and some even point blank tell you that you need to leave your kid more.
It's all a big cycle of who is doing it better and/or right versus wrong.
We're all just trying to be the best mama we can be to our child. We do what we feel is best. If doing things the more natural way is your goal then GO YOU; and if doing things the traditional way that society sees as "traditional" now then GO YOU too.
Let's just put an end to the mommy wars. You're no child expert and neither am I. So...let's just raise our kids and high five each other for keeping them alive, healthy and dressed in clothes that actually match.
What's your take on the mommy wars?
xoxo, Sasha
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