The Hour After the Kids Go to Bed

Ahhhhh. The kids are in bed, the hubby is in bed and I've already showered. It's like a mini party here all for myself. Let's see...what will I do?

Do I catch up on some work? Take care of some much needed housework? Nah, that's just dumb. Hmmm, maybe I can finish reading that book I started six months ago. I think I'm pretty far into it, like I'm on chapter 3 or something. That's not that bad. Or maybe I can watch The Voice; I'm pretty sure I only missed last week's episode. Let me check the DVR...oh wait, damn, I missed two weeks of episodes. Crap. How have two weeks passed without me watching ANY of this?

Well I guess before I do that I should finish cleaning the kitchen. I just need to clean the pots in the sink. Or do I? I mean, is it really that bad if I leave a few pots in the sink? It's just some dried up pasta in there. It's not like the kitchen is a mess. There's just dishes in the sink.

But does that make me a bad mom? Or what if I'm a bad wife for doing that? Hmm, maybe the hubby will get grossed out by me leaving a few pots in the sink. Or maybe a roach will come. Crap, I better clean this up. Dammit.

Speaking of pasta, what the heck am I going to cook tomorrow night? I'm pretty sure there isn't anything to cook. Oh boy, that means it's grocery day tomorrow! Here I come Target! I have a date with Tar-je' people and I can't wait. I'll get my Starbucks, give the girls some puffs to entertain them and browse endlessly like I'm on a huge spree. Ohhhh, maybe someone can watch the girls for me so I can go alone? Ha! Who I am kidding. Tomorrow is Wednesday and everyone else has work.

"Work, work, work, work, work...," I hate that I think of this stupid song every time I hear the word "work." But it does make me wanna, "twerk, twerk, twerk, twerk, twerk..."

Ha, speaking of twerking, I need a night out with the girls. Like the good ole' days! Maybe I'll text them all tomorrow to try and plan a night for this weekend. I'm pretty sure I'm free. Sure would be fun to get all dressed up and actually wear heels again!

Oh wait no, we have like three birthday parties. Dammit kids.

Okay the dishes are clean. Now for that glass of wine. Do we have any cookies? Wait, no...that's why I gotta go to the store tomorrow! Let me start a shopping li...oh who am I kidding. I never remember to bring it.

Shit it's already 10:30. How does that happen? Is there like some weird way that time speeds up after kids go to bed?!?!?!?! I swear there is!

Wait what was that buzzer for? Oh yea, the clothes are dry. Well that's nothing...they can stay there all night. A little wrinkle never killed no body! Let me just double check the washer though to make sure it's empty. I'm pretty sure it is. And THEN I can sip my wine!

Wait, what! There's clothes in here. I don't even remember washing these. Well I guess I better pull them out. Where's the damn drying rack -- this will take foreverrrrrrrrrr. Or maybe I can just dry them in the dryer? But is that safe to dry clothes while we are sleeping? Isn't like a ton of house fires caused from dryers?!? Okay, where's the drying rack. Speaking of drying, I still need to go dry my hair! Ugh. It never ends.

Okay now it's 11pm. Forget the wine, forget Adam Levine and forget it all. This mama just wants to get into bed before midnight! I hear sleep calling my name!

Ohhhhh cool sheets are my favorite. Soooooo comfy, ah I am so exhausted! The kids sure were a handful today. They so damn cute though. Gosh I love them. I think my heart will explode sometimes! Awe, I kinda miss the little punks. Like I really wanna get some kisses. Too bad I can't sneak any right now, but I wouldn't take that chance of waking them! Hells no.

(TWO MINUTES LATER)

Wait, what was that....

Was that a kid?

Oh please don't be the baby. Please be the big kid. Please. Please.

Wait, nooooooooo.

It's the baby. O-M-G. Why?!?!

WHY ME?

Every night. This will take another hour! Go back to sleep PUH-LEASE.

Dear God, please hear my pleas.

Why is she not going back to sleep?

I give up.

I'm coming baby.